PINT – 10 Tid Bit’s!!

It’s that day of the week again!! It’s PINT Tuesday with Supah!! Hop on over and join in the fun. Before you go though make sure to take a peek at mine and leave me a note. I decided to do something oh so fun today!!! You don’t want to miss it nor do I want to hold you any longer. So after your done looking at mine just click on the awesome Supah Mommy below and she will whisk you away to where you have to go. What else would she be wearing that cape for right?? ;)


Here we go!!!!!


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

They say opposites attract… truth?? (and Red Lobster)

So that is what they say, right? Well who are they, and I’d really like to ask them to prove their theory. Course that would only mean that the hubby and I are truly destined to be together. Not that I don’t want that to be the case, just sometimes it can be frustrating. I’ll give you some examples.

• Hubby has to always be early and I’m not talking 10 or 15 minutes. No I’m talking more like 30 to an hour. He has to be at his work at 9:30 every night and doesn’t start till 10:30. I on the other hand I am not late however 5 minutes before is plenty for most things. 10 on the important things like oh a Doctor’s appointment or something. This cause’s the most issues when we need to go somewhere with the kids and I have to get them and myself ready in the same time he gets ready. Yeah I’m magical like that!!
• Hubby is a morning person. I am not. Enough said. Makes mornings here real rough.
• Hubby is a worrying, anal, drive himself crazy over something that needs to be done. Doesn’t matter if its something for now or months down the road. I am a huge PROCRASTINATOR!! Hard to believe I know, but I am. If I have a deadline to meet I do its just I cram all I need to do in the last possible amount of time. I hav it all planned and I know my abilities so what time I need I can do it. (like getting us three ready in same time he gets ready see?) Problem is I have to listen to his worry, his frustration, his manic malfunctions until whatever is to be done is done.
• Hubby is a pessimist to the fullest. There is hardly ever a positive thing that can come out of his mouth on a situation. (so your wondering now why I married him?) I have the optimist point most the time. All hell is breaking lose and all I keep thinking is it will be over soon. That's optimism right? When things are rough its already bad enough. Add in his attitude and it’s like the end of the world.
• Hubby always has to be on the go, go, GOOO. Yes always busy. I love to do things. I also love a day of just curling up on the couch and watching the TV. We end up hardly being home if the hubby is not working. Which makes him wonder why nothing was done at home that day. Go figure.
• He hardly sleeps. I can sleep for hours on some nights and less on others. Makes his on the go fits rough on the days I want to SLEEP!
• Hubby can not handle chaos. I thrive in it. Plus the kids are mass creators which makes some days rather amusing to play out. I create chaos some days just to see him frustrated. Mean I know but like I said I like to stir the pot. Unfortunately this does make some days with the hubby rather frustrating.
• Hubby is a total city boy. (from the country) Constantly has to be clean, smell nice, sometimes changes clothes in the middle of the day. I embarrassingly enough (probably for him) being a country girl shower is at least every other day or third with a hair wash in there. I will wear a pair of pants more than once before I wash them. All depends on what I did. I love to get in the dirt and get filthy. Makes playing in the yard a game of trying to explain to the hubby clothes and skin do wash. (kids love the dirt too)
• I’m thinking the hubby had a sheltered life. I was allowed to venture and try what I wanted too. Discussions on what the girls can and can’t do can lead to issues. He doesn’t want to try new things either.
• Hubby is from another WORLD!!! I’m from earth. Sometimes I want to scream how his outlook differs so much from mine.

OK ok so you get the point. We are polar opposites. We are so north and south it’s beyond comprehendible sometimes. So the hubby and I first met at work. Yes we worked together before and during the beginning of “us.” When I first started there we basically hated one another. We avoided one another like the plague. Then one of my good friends, another co-worker in fact Lynn, had a birthday coming up. The three of us all worked the same rotation so eventually she convinced me to ask him to come out with us, give him a chance. One thing led to another and here we are. One of our other co-workers laughed so hard when we told her we were together when she finally quit rolling on the floor she said “I always knew it!! You two already fought like you were married!”

We spent the other day with Lynn in town, where we were extremely amusing to her. See the hubby and I do these little spat things I’ll call them. We bicker and tease and taunt one another and when it was said and done at one point the hubby turned to Lynn (when he lost the battle) “see what you did, torture I tell you, that’s it you love to see me tortured.” Then he grins at us and starts laughing. Her only reply, “why can’t I do so well matchmaking for myself.” (she is on her third divorce poor thing)

All in all we tell Lynn it’s her fault jokingly, however coming up on our three year wedding anniversary next month, I thank her every day.

We maybe Yin and Yang but we were meant for one another. We didn’t see it in the beginning but others did. Sometimes the best thing in the world is right under our nose so take a chance.

Take a look over at Only the Curious. She is having an awesome giveaway for Red Lobster and a cute felt heart pin! All because she reached a 100 posts!! How awesome is that she is giving us a chance to eat out on her dime for her accomplishing this feat!! Go see her now and join in!!

The Here and Now!

So the past two days I’ve given you the shorthand version of how we have gotten to where we are. You can see the Beginning of QueenB and Toughie and the Locating and Agreements posts if you want to catch up. I’m writing this all out as I’ve said partly with frustrations but possibly with the hope of maybe finding someone else dealing with the same issues.

This post will have a different feel to it than the last two. I left off with what our present agreement is. It’s been a long road of almost 4 years now of searching, kissing her and the courts butt, a TON of money, many many miles, to get where we are. I’m not asking for sympathy I just want to voice my feelings and opinions on what we have been going through. It’s been a journey and I wouldn’t trade any minute of it.

 

So as it stands now she has once again drug us to court. A few months ago claiming I was of course abusing the girls. CPS came to my house and turned it upside down and questioned me. They even questioned Hubby at the station while he was working!! I was furious yet amused with the stories she came up with this time. One was that I constantly lock the girls in “our” bedroom with their dad. Well when I showed the CPS guy that one ok yeah our bedroom has a door but it is constantly stuck open and I mean stuck. We live in an old house and when I yanked on the door to show him how stuck it was there was a loud pop and I about fell over. I then showed him how it’s basically a piece of wood, no handle, and certainly no lock. (very rustic) From this point on every time he would read me an allegation and I would prove how there was no way possible for it to be true, or even remotely plausible he was consistently shaking his head. When he got done with the whole thing he asked if I had any input. I just shook my head. He then says that he doesn’t see any reason that he should have been here or that he should be back that we have nothing to worry about. He once again asked if I had any input and no one but him would know what I said. So I just simply snapped and told him, “She is jealous period. From the point the girls could talk they called me Mom first and that pissed her off. (we didn’t encourage it, it doesn’t matter to me one bit) She feels she has to attack because that is her only option. We have a stable home, environment, jobs, life, and she can’t keep or have any of that and it drives her mad.” That’s the short version.

So here is the run down. The girls will be 5 in September. In their short little lifetime she has lost 4 jobs. Most the time was unemployed rather than working. She has been evicted from 6 different places. She has been arrested for drunk driving and bouncing checks. She is now having mental breakdowns and calling at all hours in the evening and at night (after 12 am a couple of times) for Hubby to come get the girls because she can’t handle it.

The sad part is that even though the girls are four they are beyond gifted and intelligent. They are already disappointed by her and you can see it in their attitude, emotions, and actions. It’s frustrating because you don’t want to discipline them for retaliating/screaming out in frustration to finding that they were suppose to go here or there and once again she has let them down. We try our best to explain what we can and hope for the best.

She physically abuses them and it’s evident. Toughie has slipped a few times and called me Mom only to be smacked by QueenB and told “you don’t call her Mom she isn’t our Mom” Wow!! The conversations after these have been very enlightening. They are constantly covered in bruises, huge scrapes, black eyes, you name it they have had it short of a broken bone. (knock on wood) She has never viewed their safety as a concern. Had them in boosters before they were even two, during winter they are always wearing inappropriate clothes, and so on.

So not to make this go on forever I’m sure you see the pattern. Now I am all for both parents in a child’s life. I WANT her to be a part of their life. However right now I don’t think it’s a good thing for them. She is once again homeless, jobless, and constantly falling apart. Last night was another 12 am call from her and the girls. One why are they still up and two there has to be something wrong if they want to call daddy and are crying their eyes out. I want to fall over uncontrollably crying myself when we get them they are so filthy and bruised. Thing is I can’t!! I have to stay strong, I have to for them! It’s horrifying that they know the routine of coming to us. Every time it’s pictures snapped of clothes and marks, baths, and new clothes. We have to protect ourselves and collect all we can for when the miracle happens and the court finally opens their eyes.

Now our hopes aren’t up by no means, but prayers and fingers crossed that the mediator has finally seen. She has requested the hubby to come to mediation today. In her phone call she finally asked questions. She found out about some of the girls moms lies and her current situation. She wants to try and get their mom to temporarily let the girls come stay with us till she can get things back together. Hubby told her that their mom won’t go for it. When asked why, he told her “the truth is she will lose the money she is getting (child support) and she will not go for that.” Mediator told her well she will just have to see this isn’t good for them. Hubby even said “if she will do it I don’t want her money, or for her to have to pay, I just want to know they are safe, sleeping in a bed at night, being fed, bathed, and loved. I believe she does love them but as of now it’s very unclear how much.”

I have never nor will I ever not love these two as if they weren’t my own. They keep me going day after day and in that first minute coming back from her they immediately jump into my arms and squeeeze so hard while proclaiming “I missed you the MOST” there is NO WAY I will give that up. These are my girls just as much as theirs.

Thanks for listening/reading. Next week I promise will be back to fun things. Fingers crossed and tons of prayers today goes well.