Locating and Agreements.

I’ve started this few day journey through how I came to be a step mom of twin’s. Yesterday I told you about the Beginning of QueenB and Toughie. I ended basically where I came in the picture. I’m trying to do this in short sweet style. It frustrates me a bunch and I tend to not talk about it much. However I thought I’d share it wondering if other’s are going through the same situation. I hope you can follow along and get most of it. Bear with me through this because I have to get it out. Thanks in advance.

• When the hubby and I met he didn’t like to be asked or having to talk about the girls he missed them that much.
• Frustrated with not knowing where she was after much discussion we found a lawyer.
• Girls are now 9 months old.
• Paid for an investigator to find her.
• Finally found her and she was served court summons.
• Endless harassing private phone calls came at all hours of the day and night.
• She shows up for court and when asked if she knew he was the father why she didn’t name him in the search. She couldn’t/wouldn’t answer.
• Have to pay close to $1000 for paternity tests.
• Finally results come back.
• He tries through mediation to get some time with his girls. She denies everything.
• She does invite him to their first birthday.
• She agrees to visits in her home once a week for two months before hubby can take them to his house.
• Hubby does what he has too.
• They sign a temporary agreement.
• Eventually girls start coming every weekend to our house.
• Girls starting staying more and longer.
• Soon after someone (and it wasn’t us) turned her into CPS. She retaliates by with holding the girls from Hubby.
• Takes 4 months to get a court date.
• She tells outrageous lies with no truth.
• We provide evidence and witness’s.
• She is informed she has no right to with hold the girls from their dad. She should be held in contempt of the order.
• Court order is now three night weekends. She is IRATE now.
• After some time it happens again where the girls are staying with us more and more.
• During these two years she has been fired from two jobs and being evicted from her third place.
• More people have turned her in and again she retaliates. Court does nothing to her.
• She is constantly dragging us in to CPS for falsely accusing us, (mostly me) to court for things that should be just discussed with her and the hubby, and making us constantly run around like chickens.
• The present agreement is now four night weekends for three weeks and two nights for the fourth. It has taken forever to get this far and now that they will attend school almost full time next year it is back up for review this summer.

So of course the wars have begun again with her. It is pure craziness. That will be Friday’s post. What we are currently or the games we have dealt with dealing with her and her greed for the money.

 

The beginning of QueenB & Toughie.

So I had mentioned before in a previous post a little snip it on what life was like for the girls when they are with their “mom”. Now I want to make something clear here on the point I really do believe children should have time with both parents. However to which point does their safety and well being become more important. We are constantly struggling with decisions as to what to do or say to their mom. The next couple days if not the rest of the week I’m going to really open up with our whole situation. Start with the past and eventually end up with the here and now. How I have no clue what tomorrow will bring for me for the hubby or the girls.

I’ll give you the background here in the shortest form I can to catch you up. Little snip-it timeline to fill you in.

• Hubby and her were together, never married.
• She already had a son. Plus was still married to a man in prison for CSC charges with a minor. UGH!!
• Reason they got together she was being kicked out of her apartment (for not paying), she worked with the hubby, he offered to help her out by letting them stay for a small time with his family. One thing led to another. (seemed like a plan to me)
• Eventually they had their own place she lost her job because she wouldn’t go to work. During this time Hubby worked, made sure her son made it to school, did all the house work. She did nothing. This caused TONS of fights with her and his parents. (I totally don’t blame them)
• Next thing you know they are pregnant, and with twins.
• 6 months along she disappears. Not just break it off its over, nope just leaves no words, phone disconnected everything.
• Now by some fluke in the universe Hubby is on an ambulance call and see’s the girls “grandma” (moms mom) at the hospital. He casually asks what are you doing here? Oh the girls were born just a bit ago. WHAT?!? We tried to call you. (BULL$H!& his parents have caller id on home and cells)
• So she takes him in there. He got to hold them. (beaming when he came and told us at work, I worked with him then)
• Girls mom tells Hubby you can’t be on Birth Cert because we aren’t married. (BULL$H!& you will see her motives later)
• Couple weeks later she calls him from blocked number for Money (of course). He takes her some money not taking a second thought at all. He gets to see the girls for a few minutes and offers to help, she don’t want it. She gets rid of him quick as she can.
• Time goes by he can’t find her once again. Eventually begins to blow it all off.
• Girls are now about 7 months old when he runs into a mutual friend of theirs. With chatting and catching up she hints to the question why Hubby wants nothing to do with the girls. He asks why she would say that. He has no way of contacting the girls mom and hasn’t seen them in 6 months. She reveals that the girls mom was trying to give them up for adoption but the court is searching for the father to get his sign off before she legally can. (later find out girls mom had given the court at least 20 names to test hence the fact she wanted no dad on the Birth Cert)
• Now that Hubby and I have started dating we start talking about what he can do and what rights he has.

I’ll leave it here for today. Tomorrow I’ll fill ya in on “our beginning” of this crazy thing we call life. I mean this crazy dealing with their mother, lawyers, and the unbelievable cracked up damn family court legal system we have in this country. Especially for Dad’s. It’s been a rough journey and as of late has only been more interesting as well as frustrating.