What I meant to say Wednesday

Come on along and play with us!!!

Jump on over to chief’s and grab the button!!!

So here’s my edition, only it’s not what I meant to say, it’s what I’m sure my hubby wanted to say.

There is a little setting it up for ya so you understand why he said it. My hubby has one of those “white man afro’s”, so he let’s me cut his hair. You know the type where it’s so curly even if I don’t have all the hair’s cut to the exact same length no one is even going to notice. So ok I’m getting there just hold on to your horses mouses mice. So I’m all done cutting the fro-age and we are now onto shaving the back, the neck part. Yeah I said shave, come on we are a house of girls (even both dogs) why would I buy a set of buzzers just for this little part on him.

Anywho he is sitting there and says, “I wish we could have eyes in the back of our heads.” I’m like ok, “why?” All he says is, “ I don’t know, just because I guess.”

When I’m sure what he meant to say was. “Because then I could cut my own hair and shave my own neck so that I’m not sitting on pins and needles the whole time as you are bouncing around my head talking my ear off and coming at me with all those sharp utensils. Who knows when you will slip, trip, get pissed, or any other means or way that some how you manage to cut, poke, stick, or jab me. I’m really dreading the time when I’ll have to call 911 because I was only getting a hair cut. I cherish my blood and life to much to keep letting you do this!!”

That’s what I think he was gonna say but decided to bite his tongue instead.

Why Daddy wants me to be blonde!

When I was born, I was a blonde. As a child my hair started turning red, more a strawberry blonde but still going red. I look like, well been told I’m the spitting image of my Grandma my Dad’s Mom when she was my age. When I got in high school I eventually dyed it red. To this day I still keep it red. For well over 10 years I’ve dyed it at least once a year. With my hair having the natural reds in it I don’t have to maintain it that often. Which with my life is a great relief!

So on to the point Daddy wants me to go blonde. Not just blonde he says the bleach, bright, neon, blind you in the sun blonde!

First of all this in not a knock on blondes, If you are a blonde I mean no offense. My sisters and a few of my good friends are blonde.

Now me a blonde, I say oh HE** NO! I haven’t been since I was like 10 or maybe 12. In school I was a 4.0 student. Absolutely hated the blonde stereotype. Hence finally just dying it one color. Now the first try was by no means a red head it was more like purple! Hilarious at first I really loved it. Of course I was in the rebellious age of my life too. My Mother HATED it. My work was done.

Then my senior year my Mom paid big money to strip and get my hair back to what she called my “natural” blonde color. Wait it’s been years since I was blond how do you remember that color? Anyway I had to wait two weeks for the time honored tradition of senior pictures. For two weeks my hair was back to “normal” my Mom called it. As soon as them pics were done back to “my normal” I was. My Mom was irate! “What if we need retakes?” “Why didn’t you wait till the proofs come back!” “Samantha Mae!” when the middle name was yelled I knew I was in trouble. What could I do I just shrugged and said “They will be fine” Mean while I was praying to all holy heaven every moment of everyday till them proofs came back. Needless to say I’m still alive.
So on to Daddy. He has been hounding me for months to go blonde. Now when I ask why all I get is the usual male answer “I don’t know” or “because I want to see you blonde.” Hello I have pics of me blonde what more do your need!

So we are sitting in the living room one night and watching his favorite show DOG the bounty hunter, when it hit me. HE WANTS ME TO LOOK LIKE BETH! I jump up “NO way!”

He was shocked “what?”

“I get it! I finally figured it out! You want me to look like Beth!” As I’m frantically pointing at the TV, and mad at myself for taking so long to figure this out.

He just grins and tries to lie, “No, what… what are you talking about?”

“Blonde, Bleach Blonde like Beth. That’s why you want me to be blonde!”

He just laughs and tries to hide that that is the reason. I knew Daddy had a crush on Beth, but the nerve to want me to change to look like her WTF! Needless to say now it’s a game to me. I tell him oh sure I’ll dye my hair blonde when you get the body of DOG!

So of course here we are him no closer to the body of DOG and me never going to be blonde again. Besides my fiery, outspoken, too smart for my own good, in your face personality does not fit a blonde!